Transition

I have decided not to delete the blog. I truly thank everyone for their support! I have been house hunting for three years now and finally bagged one. I have been moving, well, in between cases anyway. I finally just put my head down and took the weekend off, no call, and I am starting to make progress. I had to turn down a stab to the abdomen this morning at 0800. That kinda hurt. Oh well, there are enough "sum doods" to go around, I'm sure I'll have another opportunity. Meanwhile I will be without internet for two? weeks they tell me it might be sooner but I doubt it. I look forward to resuming some semblance of a blog when I return. Thank you all, and see you soon!

I woke up this morning ready to delete this blog.
I am hesitant to post in depth about cases in the OR because of patient confidentiality. I feel that for those of you who do anticipate posts from me, that I let you down when I cannot post more often (see reason number one). I like my anonymity but no matter how many ways I hide my internet (ISP) address, tracking services keep finding ways to uncover it so bloggers can see just what city and state you are visiting their blogs from. There is really nothing in my blog that I would be ashamed of coworkers reading. I am not an unkind person and I don't have time for toxic, caustic, negative people. I had enough of that as a child and now as an adult, I simply walk away from those types and no longer allow them to affect me. To blog about those types of people who are offensive or would take offense to a post about them, is too energy consuming. I love what I do so I would never want to taint my posts with their fodder. I am simply a very private person and don't like a lot of attention. I know, I know, ...so what are you doing on the Internet!? Exactly my question.
I truly have found my calling in surgery. It is still a total high each and every time I am asked to assist. It is my desire, it is my passion, it is my commitment, it is my dedication, it is my dream, it is my life. Surgery awoke in me a compassion that I had never had for humans. I see many layers of humanity in the OR and while some reinforce my pessimism for the human race, others have melted it away. Having always felt that I was on my own with no one to depend on but myself, I now find great pleasure in helping others. All of the lessons from my early life coming to fruition it seems.
My intention for this blog was to relay this passion. I wanted to include the human factor but how to do so without compromising patient confidentiality? And so I think the blog evolved as more about myself and the interaction with my surgeons. How boring for the reader! Perhaps it is blogger midlife crisis as I have seen others go through, I am not sure. I feel as though I need to make a decision about to blog or not to blog. When I turned on the computer this morning I began surfing some of my favorites and the ever likable and dependable Ramona had the link up to SurgeXperiences 218. I felt a pang of nostalgia (?) as if I had already deleted my existence in the blogosphere. Even though I have missed contributing to many recent editions, how would I be able to submit a post in the future without a blog? Have I found a niche that I enjoy and are comfortable with? Do I really want to leave my cyber friends behind? Perhaps becoming a commenting lurker would be enough for me. I guess I'll sleep on it.