Gems of the Day

Warning, possibly offensive language in the name of humor.....

Snippets of conversation from my day in the OR.

Anaesthesiologist: "That Harmonic Scalpel hand piece makes a sound identical to my low pulse ox alarm."

Surgeon: "It's good for you, keep you on your toes."

Vendor: "We're coming out with a new hand piece. It has a more ergonomic handle and the hand controls are easier to use."

Anaesthesiologist: "Does it make a different sound?"

Assistant: "Yeah, it sounds like asystole."

And

Anaesthesiologist:" I had to throw away some beer I bought a while back because it had expired."

Group Question: "Expired!? Didn't think beer expired."

Circulator: "That's the "born on date," the date it was made.

Anaesthesiologist: No, it wasn't that brand of beer and it says , "best when used by."

Assistant: "But still okay after!"

The following story cracks everyone up every time it is repeated.

A surgeon was giving one of the Filipino circulating nurses a hard time. The joke is, how do you say" f--k you Doctor" in Filipino (Tagalog)? Answer, "Yes Doctor". The surgeon was teasing her because she had replied "Yes Doctor" at least twice so far during the case. As the teasing progressed she became more engaged in the banter and ultimately told the surgeon something along these lines...."Actually in our country when we want to tease the surgeon we say "Yes Doctor Mother Fucker!"

She was so embarrassed! The whole room was howling with laughter. She had actually meant to say Mother Father. The surgeon is still known as Doctor Mother Fucker and he loves to repeat the story.